SELF HARM / SELF INJURY / SELF MUTILATION: There are multiple reasons why people self harm: only that person knows the real reason, and sometimes isn't even consciously aware of what that reason is. View: http://healthmad.com/mental-health/10-reasons-people-cut-themselves/ Because of the possible association between Borderline Personality Disorder and self harm, view http://www.essortment.com/all/borderlineperso_rnmc.htm and pages G & X at Weebly, if you suspect you may be suffering from it.
SHORT TERM: Try putting a wide rubber band around your wrist, (for a short time only, say, a few minutes at maximum) then stretch and release. Alternatively, hold an ice cube in both hands and grasp. Those people who are in a position to, recommend adding red food dye to the water beforehand, as the red drops from the melting ice add to the effect. Try cutting a favorite stuffed toy, or doll/action figure instead, feeling its pain, and then stitch it back up, or bandage it. Journalling thoughts and feelings, or expressing them through drawing or painting yourself can help. Red is a popular color in this activity.
LONGER TERM: Set yourself the goal of going a short time without self harming, and without doing anything that helps, either, before finally doing something which helps you to cope. The next day, try for a little longer, and so on..........the longer you go, the more in touch with your emotions, and aware of the reasons why you self harm. The longer you go without self harming, the easier it gets. Those people who had tried journalling/drawing/painting before, but given them up as ineffective, may benefit from another go, at this point. The relaxation techniques described on page L, are often beneficial, but require daily practise, and sometimes overnight transformations happen, but results usually come from them in time, sometimes several days, sometimes several weeks, and they provide an understanding that there is another way of being, where there is no emotional pain. There are alternative methods for more physically inclined people, such as the muscle flexing and relaxing technique on page L, or Tai Chi, or yoga. Also try the Emotional Freedom Technique, a kind of acupressure therapy, which Dr. Mercola provides free at http://www.mercola.com/ or www.emofree.com which has versions suitable for use in public, as well. It is important to get rid of any favorite implement used for self harming, as it has probably become a comforting ritual, and the extra time it will afford, gives you time to think about alternatives, instead of acting on impulse. Now would be a good time to do just that, if it is a safe hour to venture outside. Self injury causes a person to manufacture "body opiates", called endorphins, which, like other opiates, have the property of being addictive. Also like opiates, or alcohol, tolerance to their effect develops, but, instead of increasing the dosage, that person often finds that they have to cut more, and deeper, to achieve the same effect. Some time down the track, when they finally realise that it is not the way to go, they are confronted with a mass of scar tissue, and often, socially ostracised as well, and it can also limit job and promotion opportunities, not to mention the risk of infection, or damaging a blood vessel, in some cases.
HYPNOTHERAPY: Most people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or, quicker, cheaper, and more conveniently: a free hypnosis for addictions is at http://www.freehypnosis.com and specifically for self harm: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com Perfect Partners: Stop Self Harming + Relieve Stress and Tension. ~~~ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Self Harm Syndrome is a serious mental illness and you must seek professional help immediately.
Clearly there is a serious breakdown in communication between yourself and your parents since you would prefer to take a razor blade to your wrists than talk to your parents.
I would recommend the following:
Step 1. STOP doing it. get rid of all sharp objects from your bedroom and make it as difficult as possible for you to get hold of anything sharp. Make sure all sharp objects are in a public place and not a private place.
Step 2. GET HELP. Since there are obviously trust issues between you and your parents, talk ot someone else, a counsellor or psychologist. If you are at school talk to the school counsellor about it, if you are not at school talk to your GP about it.
I know it feels good, but there are NO physical solutions to emotional pain, any attempt to find a physical solution is going to be temporary. The emotional pain is going to come back.
Also you speak of being stressed, is there anything you can do to remove some of that stress?
Ultimately your family are going to have to be told as they are going to be an integral part of the recovery process but you should talk to a professional as your first port of call.
Finally, I don't think you're naive or stupid. Self Harm Syndrom affects 2-3 million Americans (I don't know the figures for the UK as I haven't looked them up but I know two "cutters" personally, so I imagine it's fairly common.)http://www.essortment.com/articles/self-… ~~~
SCAR REDUCTION: To help with reduction of scarring, Vitamin E cream is one of the cheaper, yet readily available products. Scarzone from Walgreens (US $12) has been highly recommended. Also see www.bio-oil.info/en/home Mederma is also one that I would try, ($13, from WalMart). For fresh scars, you could try Palmer's cocoa butter. See a dermatologist (skin specialist) about other solutions, like laser treatment, and dermabrasion. Some people disguise them by tattooing over the affected areas. ~~~
HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW? IF YOU FEEL ANGRY:
Read the section about feeling sad or depressed. Most of those things also distract you.
Look through an old photo album.
Read old letters or e-mails.
Clean your inbox.
Play a game like Solitaire.
Do random searches online.
Read about something you know only a little bit about and that you find interesting.
Open the dictionary in random places and learn new words.
Make a list. Make many lists. List as many foods as you can think of. List all the online screen names that you have ever had, or all the ones that you know of people you talk with. List all the articles of clothing that you own. List ... you get the idea.
Think in a language that you don't know very well.
Try to solve a puzzle.
Go to a playground. Swing on the swings. Go down the slide.
Spin around in circles.
Color in a coloring book.
Make snow angels.
Do homework or work on a project for school.
Make a website.
Write your autobiography or short stories about yourself.
Cook. The logic behind these things is that when you are angry, you have a lot of energy. Most of these are ways to release that energy without self-injuring. IF FEELING DEPRESSED:
Take a bath. Put bubbles in it.
Read a book that you like. Read a children's book - they always have happy endings.
Get yourself a present.
Watch a funny movie.
Watch cartoons.
Go out somewhere. Bring a friend.
Write, draw, play a musical instrument ... express yourself creatively.
Hug a stuffed animal.
Hug a loved one.
Hug yourself.
Do something that you loved to do when you were a kid.
Think about a time when you were happy. Try to mentally transport yourself back to that time/place.
Read jokes or funny stories. You can find lots of those online.
Go out to eat.
Talk with a friend. You don't have to talk about SI ... talk about something cheerful.
Think about things that make you happy. Make a list.
Do something nice for someone else. That usually cheers people up.
Call (U.S.A.) 1-800-TACOBELL. (This suggestion came from someone else a long time ago...)
Curl up under a comforter.
Listen to cheerful or calming music.
Buy a happy meal.
Play with a pet or a younger child. IF Empty, Unreal, Unable To Feel:
Do something that creates a sharp sensation. Bite a lemon. Squeeze ice.
Focus on one thing. Try to describe it like you would to a blind person.
Put a finger or a hand into a frozen food, like ice cream.
Put your hands under cold water. Take a cold shower.
Focus on your breath, on how your chest and stomach move when you breathe in and out. If you weren't real you wouldn't be breathing.
Eat something mindfully. Pat attention to how it tastes and the sensations that it creates in your mouth. Try to describe it to someone who has no sense of taste.
List as many different uses as your can for a random object. Give yourself a number to reach - like twenty, forty, or fifty. Try to surpass that number. Don't stop after two or three uses.
Interact with other people.
IF FEELING Guilty, Feeling Like A BadPerson:
List as many good things about yourself as you can. Give yourself a number to reach - like twenty, forty, or fifty. Try to surpass that number. Don't stop after just a few good things.
Read something good that someone has written about you, like a letter, a recommendation, or an evaluation.
Talk with someone who cares about you.
Do something nice for someone.
Remember times when you did something good.
What are you feeling guilty about? Can you change it somehow? Try talking with the person you feel guilty towards. Maybe they don't feel as bad as you think they do.
If you want to hurt yourself to punish yourself, punish yourself by not allowing yourself to self-injure instead. IF ADDICTED:
Draw or write on yourself with a red pen or marker.
Paint yourself with red paint.
Squeeze ice.
Snap a rubber band against your wrist.
Cry.
Excercise.
Buy a cheap tattoo, the kind that comes off after a few days, and put it on yourself.
Look at your old scars. This may trigger you more, so be careful. It may also make the urge go away because you are seeing and experiencing scars, even though they are old. The point here is to create feelings and sensations similar to those you experience while hurting yourself. Some of these things create visual images like those you may want to see, like scars or blood. Others release endorphins, which is what happens when you hurt yourself and what gives you the feeling of euphoria. DISTRACTIONS/BORED:
Read the section about feeling sad or depressed. Most of those things also distract you.
Read about something you know only a little bit about and that you find interesting.
Open the dictionary in random places and learn new words.
Make a list. Make many lists. List as many foods as you can think of. List all the online screen names that you have ever had, or all the ones that you know of people you talk with. List all the articles of clothing that you own. List ... you get the idea.
Think in a language that you don't know very well.
Try to solve a puzzle.
Go to a playground. Swing on the swings. Go down the slide. (NOT IF YOU ARE TOO OLD, THOUGH!).
Spin around in circles.
Color in a coloring book.
Make snow angels.
Do homework or work on a project for school.
Make a website.
Write your autobiography or short stories about yourself.
Play the 15-minute game. Tell yourself, "I will not hurt myself for fifteen minutes." Then see if you can go for another fifteen minutes, and another, and another. Sometimes breaking time down into little chunks makes it easier to manage.
Pick a favorite singer or band and tell yourself that you will not hurt yourself while listening to them.
Pick a day of the week and don't hurt yourself on that day. Eventually, add a second day. And then a third. And so on.
Buy a calendar and give yourself a sticker for every day that you don't hurt yourself.
Pick a place to be your safe place, a place where you won't cut ... like the kitchen, your room, etc. Go there when you have an urge. The idea is to wait before hurting yourself ... the urge may go away or be easier to deal with later. Another suggestion: Answer questions. Analyze yourself and the SI. You can find some questions HERE: http://www.geocities.com/within_the_stars/questions.htm5 Ways To Help A Friend Who Self InjuresWritten by becness http://www.abssn.org/ 1. Show concern for not just the injury, but the individuals inner pain that lead to them injuring themselves in the first place. 2. NEVER pass judgement on the individual. 3. Encourage the individual to seek therapy or join a support group and remind them they are not alone (links to be advised). 4. Encourage the individual to explore and express the emotions and pain behind their urge to self injure. 5. Encourage and applaud the individual when they take steps towards breaking the cycle of self injury or resist the urge to self harm. Things to do other than Self Injure 154 things to do other than self injure:
1. Exercise 2. Putting on fake tattoos 3. Drawing on yourself in red marker (make sure it's washable!) 4. Scribbling on sheets an sheets of paper 5. Writing (poetry, stories, journal, etc.) 6. Cuddling with a stuffed toy 7. Being with other people 8. Watching a favourite TV show (preferably a comedy) 9. Posting on web boards, and answering others' posts 10. Thinking about how I DON'T want scars for the summer 11. Painting your nails 12. Going to see a movie 13. Eating something ridiculously sweet (or any favourite food) 14. Doing school work 15. Surf the net 16. Go into chat rooms to talk 17. Call a friend and ask for company 18. Playing a musical instrument 19. Singing 20. Looking up at the sky (night is especially beautiful) . 21. Redo this list. 22. Punching a punching bag (with gloves on) 23. Shoot rubberbands across the room. 24. Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut 25. Mix warm water and red food colouring, and put in on your skin (feels and looks like blood) 26. Letting yourself cry (can be very difficult for some) 27. Sleep (only if you are tired) 28. A hot shower, or relaxing bath (no razors in the tub, though) 29. Play with a pet 30. Detangling yarn or necklaces 31. Re-organizing your room 32. Cleaning 33. Having a pillowfight with the wall (yes, neighbours may think you are crazy, but that's ok) 34. Knitting or sewing 35. Reading a good book 36. Dressing up very glamorous (make sure no one can walk in on you, though) 37. Colouring my hair 38. Listening to music (try to use calm music) 39. Watching a candle burn (no playing with the flames!) 40. Finding someone else you can help out 41. Meditate [SECTION 11, 2, 2.c & 2.i REFER] 42. Watching a scary (but not bloody, but if bloody movies help, then watch a bloody one) movie. 43. Work on a website 44. Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity 45. Go somewhere very public 46. Bake 47. Alphabetize your CD's 48. Chewing leather (especially if you SI by biting) 49. Buy a home Henna tattoo kit (peels off the next day-similar to skin picking) 50. Painting or drawing 51. Ripping paper into itty-bitty pieces 52. Hugs-(this one is very nice...) 53. Writing letters or email 54. Talk to yourself (or if that feels weird, buy a small tape recorder-I then feel like someone is listening [MANY CELLULAR MOBILE PHONES HAVE THESE] ) 55. Stroke nice fabrics 56. Hug a pillow 57. Hyperfocus on something like a rock, hand, etc. 58. fingerprint 59. Scream real loud (make sure no one is home!) 60. Dance 61. Make hot chocolate (mmmmm....) 62. pop bubble wrap 63. play with modelling clay or Play-Dough 64. count to one hundred 65. Build a pillow fort 66. pop balloons 67. Hug yourself 69. Reading things in a different language 70. Going for a nice, long drive 71. Complete something you've been putting off 72. Drinking some cups of tea 73. Breaking plastic plates 74. Tearing up socks 75. Throwing socks against the wall 76. Archery 77. Rock climbing 78. Take up a new hobby 79. Organize bills and such 80. Cook a meal 81. Go out for ice cream 82. Buy a stuffed animal 83. Look at pretty things-like flowers or artwork 84. Create Something 85. Pray 86. Randomly wave at people 87. Make a list of blessings in your life 88. Read the Bible 89. Go to a friend's house 90. Take up fencing 91. Watch an old, happy movie 92. Call a Help hotline or your Therapist 93. Talk to someone close to you that knows 94. Throw a temper-tantrum 95. Hit things-other than yourself 96. Ride a bicycle. 97. Polish silver or jewellery. 98. Gardening or watering house plants 99. Memorizing poetry 100. CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! 101. Feed the ducks or birds or squirrels, etc. 102. Draw on the walls 103. Play with facepaint 104. Do very Glamorous make-up 105. Colour with crayons 106. Memorise a novel or play or song 107. Put on boots and STAMP 108. Stretch 109. Find butterflies 110. Watch fish 111. Come up with baby names (even if you're not pregnant) 112. Make mashed potatoes 113. Make a tape of your favourite songs 114. Name all of your stuffed animals 115. Go shopping 116. Get into PJ's and just veg. 117. Buy cheap teddy bears and take out anger on them instead of self. 118. Throw everything (except glass) 119. Go to a loud concert 120. Play the 15 minute game (say you can't cut for 15 minutes, and when the time is up, start again) 121. Plan your wedding / prom 122. Hunt for stuff on Ebay (you can find ANYTHING there) 123. Alphabetize your books 124. Hunt for your perfect home in the paper 125. Take up Tai Chi [OR YOGA] 126. Try to make as many words out of your full name as possible, then do your friends names) 127. count ceiling tiles/lights 129. search ridiculous things on the web 130. colour-co-ordinate your wardrobe 131. do a home tan on yourself 132. sort all your photographs 133. colour (or scribble) over the pretty women in magazines 134. plan a dinner party 135. play with a slinky 136. but yourself some toys and play 137. start collecting something 138. get a tattoo / piercing 139. play video/computer games 140. do a trash clean at your local park 141. Play on a swingset 142. go out and perform a random act of kindness for someone 143. call up an old friend 144. write yourself an "I love you because" letter 145. put on fake nails 146. try to build something 147. re-arrange your house 148. go to a public place and people watch 149. go through all your old stuff 150. go bargain - hunting 151. smile at A MINIMUM OF five people (you usually end up smiling genuinely yourself.) 152. go to the zoo and rename all the animals. 153. go for a peaceful walk. 154. Anything is better than SI.
A SIPSK is a kit full of things to help you prevent yourself from self injuring. It can contain anything you want it to, letters from friends, things for a facial, rubber bands to snap, music cd’s etc. The possibilities are endless and you are only limited by your imagination. The idea of having a SIPSK handy is to provide a distraction from the way you are feeling, or to improve your mood until the urge to self injure is gone.
How do I make a SIPSK?
You can make your own SIPSK by getting an old shoe box, or a wooden chest or box from your local hardware store, or anything that suits you and decorating it to suit your tastes. The more personalised and the more effort you put into making the actual box the better! You can paint it your favourite colour, decorate it with your own artwork, use stencils and paint to put your name on it, put cute stickers on and cover them with varnish etc. Again, you are only limited by your imagination. Do try and make it bright and happy though, the last thing you need to be looking at when you have the urge to Self Injure is something that is visually depressing.
What can I put in my SIPSK once I have decorated it?
Anything that makes you happy and also anything that will distract you from Self Injuring. Some examples for you are:
- Nail polish in your favourite colour - Rubber bands to snap - Fake tattoos - A red marker to draw on yourself with or red food dye and a thin paintbrush (excellent for when you feel you need to see blood. The food dye when warm will look and feel like real blood) - A notebook and some pens so you can write down your feelings - Bandaids – put them over the places you want to cut - A good book - Your favourite DVD - Letters, notes and birthday cards from friends and family to let you know that people DO love you and care about you - Make up you can experiment with - The items you need to give yourself a facial - A block of chocolate! - A list of things to do other than SI (can be found above) - A list of helplines to call (some are above) - Anything else you can think of! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I started in 8th grade. I'm in 10th now. At the time, it seemed simple and innocent. But over the years, it has become like a drug to me. I always want to do it and it's always on my mind. I've noticed that since I've gotten more serious with cutting, I get sad, angry, alone, depressed, and down so much easier than I used to. I think cutting has made me a new worse person and I can't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror sometimes. After I cut, I get the best feeling of relieve and sometimes even happiness. But the next morning when I wake up, I regret it and hate myself which only makes me want to do it again".